i am writing my first theological paper for seminary.

it is a weird adjustment, but i am glad to be writing again. i rather like writing. not that you can tell from my frequency of postings.

i am surrounded by some amazing people.
i don't know how i feel about the circumstances though and what they bring out in people--
i am numb. i am becoming more and more jaded on a daily basis. i surrender my bitterness every day.

sometimes i wonder if this is a result of:
a) putting my hope in things that are not God and it finally being refined and burned and ripped from my hands so that i will finally cling to Him in ways that i need.
or
b) unhealthy circumstances

someone told me this winter to protect my heart so as to not become bitter toward ministry as a whole. i am becoming more and more afraid of that.

it takes practice for me to be level headed about things and not just get caught up in emotions-- but i do believe i have been carefully considering this for a long time.